Thanks for the Adventure

I'm having the hardest time trying to focus. Ever since I quit smoking my ADD has spiraled out of control.  Classes have started two weeks ago and I have not yet bought my books or read anything for class. I have to get myself together. Get more organized. Clean. Prioritize. Exercise. Say yes to events.

I am on a path to better myself. Unfortunately, that means separating myself from certain elements. I want passionate people that inspire me in my life. Things are unclear as to what the right answer is but I am keeping a positive outlook. Separating from those you love is almost as difficult as quitting cigarettes.

Healthier Choices and an Important Proposal!

I haven't smoked in 1 MONTH! 

I did it!!! One whole month. My last cigarette was at July 15 at 9:30pm.  I cheated once on the third day but that was 4 weeks ago and I don't count it. It was a stale old cigarette and I didn't smoke the whole thing. Andrew contributed to that cheat too. He knows what he did!

There have been a lot of benefits of quitting. I breathe easier, tastes are stronger, smells are stronger, I sleep less, I have more energy, my libido is stronger, I dream every night, but, unfortunately, I want to eat non-stop. Which is a problem because...

Cynthia and Chris are engaged! 

And I'm the maid of honor! I need to start losing weight. I want to look pretty in their wedding photos.

Chris asked her to marry him on a tiny heart island at Lake Lanier on July 26th. I had to keep it secret for four days. And prior to that, he told me a lie about his plan to propose which involved getting down on one knee on top of a Colorado mountain, but he thought I would leak it to her. Psht. What kind of person would do that!? It was apart of his plan. He wanted me to tell her so that it would throw her off because she's been questioning his every move. She's wicked observant.  When I kept my mouth shut, it ruined his plans, and he finally included me in his true plans. She mentioned two days prior to the proposal that she wanted an engagement party right after the engagement, so I had 24 hours to throw a party! 

All after a night of Andrew drinking after he promised he wouldn't drink, and on the fourth day of my quitting smoking. I was not a pleasant person. 

However, I NAILED it.

Lan (bridesmaid), me, Cyn, Chris and Bekah (the other party helper!). 

Chris added a cute saying to his fridge from the Bible.

Cyn and Chris entering the surprise engagement party!

Chris' younger sister help decorate.

Food table! =) Bekah decorated the flowers. Hannah helped set up the banner. 

Not sure who blew up the balloons, I was upstairs getting ready. It looks great!

 I felt like smoking the entire day, but I didn't! I think it was a great hit. Even though, I had to be by myself for the longest time. I hid in Chris' room. Bekah was incredibly helpful but incredibly competitive and annoying. Once everyone arrived an hour early, they helped the decorating process speed up. We invited all three sets of parents. The only ones missing was Cynthia's college roommate Stephanie, Andrew, and Holen. 

Fast forward to now. 

Cynthia bought her dress today! Who knew she is into the Disney princess look? 

She's like a fluffy cloud I wanna sit in! She's going to look gorgeous. I can't wait for the special day. They still need to find a venue and deal with the little stuff. They are leaving me in charge of decorating. I, also, have to throw a bridal shower and bachlorette party. Oh, all on no job. Yeah. Ermitage kept lying about making me full time. I love Peter, but he was easily taken advantage of. I'm afraid Vanessa convinced him that he didn't need me and that she could do it with a raise.

Anyways, I have to start eating healthier. So I can fit into a size 10 dress. That'd make me happy! The bridesmaids are going for this look: 

School starts in one week. All five classes are film classes. It's going to be a busy year. 

I've got to get shit in order. 

Happy Thought

'Come On Eileen' will always bring a smile to my face. Thank you Brian Topp.

Brian: I'm working Tim, Do you understand?
Tim: No, sorry. You've got me there.
Brian: Trying... to... avoid... cliches... by not actually placing my brush on the canvas.
Tim: Wow. Right.
Brian: I'm using my penis.
Tim: Fiiinnalllllly.

Relaxing Day

Went to work and had a slow nice day.

Can you believe this beautiful sunset I'm enjoying on my way home?

Now it's time to enjoy my cook out burger, cheerwine, and Skyrim filled night. Looking forward to the day off tomorrow.

Memorial Day pictures coming soon! It was filled with friends and family. A bit much for me, as I tend to lean on the introvert side of the line but I loved seeing everyone.

Happy Adult Things

Adult things that make me happy:

- Having a full tank of gas on my way home from work.
- Very little traffic on my way home from work. Thanks Memorial Day Weekend!
- Having extra Boylan Black Cherry or root beer bottles for me to enjoy during the weekend.
- Looking forward to working out with Cynthia tonight. YAY endorphins!
- Having funds in the bank to relay on. It's comforting to know if I need gas or want dinner, I can get it no sweat. Plus, we've got rent covered!!! Wooooo!!  All thanks to a very very generous and sweet old friend.
-Having a good job to go to. That and having the hours and responsibilities rise. Helps that the other girl in my department wasn't there today which allowed me to learn much quicker. I think she's sweet but she's incompetent and creates issues for my other coworkers. I just want to work in peace. And it happened today!
-Planning on brunch with my two good friends Bivens and Jane tomorrow morning. Can't wait.
-Having the ingredients for one of my favorite breakfast recipes, egg souffle. It's easy and delicious. I think I plan to make it Sunday.
-Having wonderful parents that are willing to invest in my photography with a 50mm f/1.8 lens! It is amazing and I can't wait to use it more. Which reminds me, I need to edit the photos from last Sunday's shoot.

All good things. Trying to keep my head up even though I didn't get the internship at Turner. Eh well. I'm sure it's for the best. :)

Let's Explore Zen

The semester has finished and all the grades are good. Now I can look forward to registering for classes that actually attribute to knowledge of my degree. Blegh, this semester was irritating. Then again, I've been having issues with that.

I need to learn how to be less angry and more patient and happy. Andrew is amazing at keeping cool under pressure. The first sign of my plans going array and I start cringing at the irritation of my not-so-smooth plans. I let my nerves take a hold of me in eruptions of bitter outbursts. Uncool. Perhaps I will take up meditating? Yoga? Well see. But controlling my temper and reducing my stress is something I will need to work on. I don't want to be the angry friend. Nor the angry daughter.

I have to start looking for a summer job. Thinking about serving again makes me want to cry. I don't think it's going to help with the temper issue. Ha.

Btw, what is it when Donna hits on Captain Jack but he doesn't return the gesture? Wtf. He hits on rocks but not scrumptious hilarious Donna? Psht. Bullshit.

Whiplash

I was cleaning Saturday before Phillip came over so that we may go job hunting together. I slipped on the black 'yoga mat' that Andrew left in the middle of the hall way and did my best impression of a cartoon character slipping on a banana.

Kinda exactly like this:

I couldn't move my neck very well and had a tough time doing pretty much anything including driving, brushing my hair, scratching my head, or standing. Yeah, standing pretty much made everything hurt. So did sleeping. I made a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and found out I made things worse by inflaming the muscles and broken blood vessels by applying a heating pad on it while sleeping for three nights. I'm a smart cookie. I had to miss class and work because of it. Luckily, today it's feel a TON better. I don't need assistance trying to get out of bed or put on a shirt! Huzzah!

I know that I need to my busiest right now but it's been a blessing in disguise. I was able to relax (sort of) with out feeling like a lazy fat bum. I think I needed to rest due to all the stress that has accumulated over the past month. 

I met up with Bivens this past Saturday for brunch and I forgot how effective having a positive person in my life can improve my mentality. He was 100% right on almost every subject. I knew it all but having an old friend repeat it back to you pounded it in. I need more positive thoughts. I need positive people. It's going to be a tough but it will be worth it in the long haul. 

We are having to start over. Start from the beginning. Broke and in search of what we want out of life. More so for Andrew than for me. I want to stay away from those that helped lead us to the destruction path. This will include some decent people. I want to move on to those who help us out of this hole. Help us become our best. Want us to be our best. We are going to have to be very aware of  how others truly affect us. They might not do drugs but they may like where we were. Some will like to feel superior over us. And some of those that have a more open mind to certain lifestyles might be a good influence that want us to succeed. We're deciphering it like an ancient code. We are trying not to be wrong. We need to learn to let it go. Keep going. Hike on. Keep the positive vibes close. Make new friends. Create a better life for ourselves. I have to keep repeating it to myself in order for it to seep in through the cracks. I grew up in a very negative space. It takes some work to be the opposite. I think it's worked. The more I repeat the positive events rather than the negatives, more positive things happen. It truly works. This jolt will lead to a better outcomes.