Birthday Box for Lieu

My sister is the best. She's 17 years older than me and is one of the most giving people I've ever met in my life. She gave me her spare car when I needed transportation AND this last Christmas she gave me a Dell laptop (the very laptop I'm writing this!). She is well off and I never seem to have enough money to get her what I truly want to give her, a 5 lb. diamond necklace that spells out her name, Lieu. Tastefully done, of course.

But this year? Ohhhhh, this year I am BOSS.

No, I didn't mine for diamonds or emeralds and become a gemologist. I made her a 'Birthday in a Box'! Woooooo!

I kicked its ass. My cousin, Imalla (or Gabby, as she likes to be called), also, kicked its ass. She created an awesome birthday crown.

Here's a list of what I included in the picture above.

1. Homemade giant card
2. Birthday crown
3. Two tiny champagne bottles
4. Birthday cake bottle topper
5. Sparklers
6. Giant sunglasses
7. Mustache
8. 2 tiny plant pots
9. 5 packets of seeds for flowers and fruits
10. Kinetic sand 
11. 2 white chocolate bars
12. Purple silly straw
13. Mailbox with caramel kisses
14. Paper star
15. Lavender bath salts
16. Incense
17. Homemade pom-poms on sticks
18. Birthday Cake Oreo's
19. Hip hip! Hooray! horns
20. Candles
21. Napkins
22. Paper straws

Phew! That's a lot! Everything cost me under $35. I created everything from spare craft supplies at my home. It's amazing how far spray paint and card stock can go. 

I cut up some card stock into diamonds. Made sure they matched up when folded together.

Spray painted them gold. 

Picked a font and wrote the letters with permanent marker on each side. 

Now take a break from making the banner. It's hard and complicated work, I know. 

Cut out the size of your card. It can be how ever big you want it, obviously, I'm not your boss. You're going to want to get a ruler out and measure the size. It will benefit you in the long run. Once you fold it over, flatten that crease as best as possible. Now cut out a larger size with whatever pattern you want to use. I chose these cute patterned paper rolls from Target. They were left over from when I was making decorations for my close friend's, Holen, birthday dinner delight. They covered my large white blank card perfectly with an inch or two extra beyond the sides. 

I poured Mod Podge on the card stock and delicately placed the patterned paper on top. Only do the INSIDE of the card first. You will need a smooth flat object like a hard-cover book to flatten the bubbles and bulges out. I used an old license plate that was just laying around my house for some weird dumb reason. Then you'll want to cut off the extra paper on the sides. Re-measure if need be. I had to. 

Now, before you glue the pattern to the outside of the card, take your string, whether it be a ribbon, twine, thread, whatever. If it's string-like, pick it up and measure out how much you'll need for the inside of the card. It's all up to you, madam. I know I'm being a little sexist there, but, ya know, come on. Once measured how many strings you'll need and how long, you'll need to make holes into the cards. Tiny ones. You can use a hole-punch or stab it with a sharpen pencil. I used the end of the corkscrew from my wine opener. I would've poked it with my unicorn's horn but he was at the Korean spa. It was his day off. He's been through a lot this week, he deserved it.

After that, pull your string through the hole and tape it on the outside of the card. Test it out by opening it up. This will work out your biceps and deltoids too! Remember, it'll have the little banners added soon so if it's not staying down, it will soon. After that, glue to patterned paper to the outside of the card. Then, wait. Play some soccer, watch a movie, bake a cake, have a threesome, whatever. 

Now you can add the little paper stock banners! I used paperclips to secure the tabs to stay together, like in the picture above. What are those called? Paperclips? Binderclips? Papersnaps? Whatever.

Then, just add stuff. Scrapbook stickers would be great for this. I added sticker stars of different size with gold and silver ribbons attached. Then left her a personal and sweet note on the bottom. I know, I'm sweet. So so sweet. Whatever.

When it came to the box, I just spray painted the inside (I cut it and flipped it). It was something used from a previous project. Pistachio. Love that color.

I sprayed perfume on it a day later so she wouldn't pass out from the toxic fumes when opening it. Then I took paper tissue and made a fringe, little tassles, pom poms, and chevron designs to decorate the inside flaps of the box. She'll open it and BAM! Right away, there's pizzazz! There's glamour! And best of all, there's no glitter. Because I don't hate my sister.

Anyways, it took a long time and it should have arrived today. Tomorrow will be the grand unveiling. I asked my nephew to video her opening it. I. Can't. Wait. 

I finished writing this blog post in bed next to Andrew and he noticed I don't curse as much in my blog. He has a vast vocabulary and I caught him using the word 'ostensible' instead of the word 'obvious'. I think he sounds pretentious when using large words I can't understand. -_- He says I use the word 'fuck' too much in my speech. So, just for him... FUCKING SHITTING MOTHER FUCKER PUSSY. 

Btw, I do condone readers and articulate people. I just like fucking with him. Plus, I love the word fuck. 

G'night ya'll!

The Feminine Pack

I was reminiscing of my time spent in New Orleans this past October and I remember a brilliant memory that I felt I had to share.

I have gained 75 lbs. in the past two years. I used to look like this:

Now I look like this:

Look at that love handle. More like a love crank. Blegh,

 I have, obviously, put on a lot of weight. I used to be cute and petite and, now? I am a large load. Needless to say, it's difficult feeling cute or sexy at my size. I am past the larges. I have sped by the largest pants size (12) most name brands hold too. My double chin, chunkier frame, and inflated face is a constant reminder through out the day that I am no longer pretty. When people see me, they do not see pretty brown cat eyes. They do not see the beautiful tint of hair color. They don't notice my jewelry or my fashion sense. They see a fat girl. Don't deny it! When you see someone my size, you see that too. I try to be optimistic but sometimes the reality of my massive growth surfaces and it depresses me, like it did this past October when I was visiting New Orleans. Back to the good story.

I went with my close friend, Cynthia. I bought a summer Free People dress the week before our departure to NOLA and I was excited to wear it there.

Cute, right? Right. I wore it the entire day on our outing to Magazine Street. It's an awesome part of New Orleans, right next to the French Quarter. We found amazing thrift stores like Ah-ha, indie restaurants like Coquette, and cute shops like the St. James Cheese Company. The day was hot and the dress made me feel, well, wrong. You know when you're wearing something that you feel totally uncomfortable wearing? That was me in this gorgeous dress. I felt like my exposed arms were too floppy and there was too much skin uncovered on the sides. I felt I had the wrong bra for it and there were fat rolls emerging. I felt like everyone was staring at me because the dress was inappropriate for a girl my size to wear. 

I tried to push this thought in the back of my mind so I could focus on enjoying the sites. We went from thrift store to thrift store. New Orleans had AMAZING thrift stores. The clothes were cheap and lavish. I could find retro 1950's dresses for less than $100! That would be near impossible here in Atlanta. Anyways, we walked into a more modern thrift store packed with women. I was trying to find some cute things that were my size (nothing ended up fitting). BUT as I was browsing, not one but TWO women came up to me and said I looked beautiful in my dress. Not, "What a beautiful dress!" But, "I just had to tell you how beautiful you look in that dress!"

I thought of that today and I had to just write about it. Those two women made me feel amazing after telling me such a wonderful thing. I was feeling like a fat sausage wrapped in a pretty lace and they put it all into perspective. I loved it. It made me tear up. 

And that's it. That's all it took to get me out of a negative mind frame. Two ladies telling me I looked pretty. I know it was about looks and women need to move away from feeling like we need to look pretty in order to feel good on the inside but sometimes, we just do. 

We ladies need to stick together not berate and pull each other down. I can't tell you how often I have come across women, GROWN women, I'm talking about women in their 50's talking trash about other women. All. The. Time. And it sickens me. That hurtful gossip can do as much damage to a person as an uplifting comment can exhilarate a person. 

That's what I plan to do. Everyday, I will make it an effort to compliment one woman. About her outfit, her hair, her voice, anything. I will try to not make it materialistic base but sometimes that can help the soul too. Just like it did to me. 

Andrew's Birthday Ideas

My boyfriend, Andrew, has a birthday next week. I'm trying to figure out an amazing day for him since he has done so much for me this past year. Unfortunately, I am low on cash. So, this is what I have planned so far:

1. Wake up and give him his first gift. A book. What kind? No idea. I like to read but I'm not much of a reader. I'm more of a movie watcher. Not that I'm at all against reading! How could anybody oppose one of the most wonderful things on this earth. Books are awesome! But in this day and age, it can be a subject of finding enough time.

I know his favorite novel is "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. So I have to do more research.

Then again, maybe I could give him my old Kindle which I never use and let him use my Amazon free Kindle books. I signed up tonight to read Mockingjay (I can't wait until the end of this year to watch Mockingjay Part II). With this app you get free books and audio books which I think he would use a ton for his work.

2.   While he is engaged with his new reading buddy, I'll head down stairs in a scurry and begin preparing breakfast. My roommate, Lee, will love this. I plan to do this around 9am. Lee wakes up around 3pm and makes it his mission to tell all the roommates we're being too loud... at 1 in the afternoon. Don't ask.

I don't know exactly what I'll make that will make it amazing but I know it'll involve these adorable artery cloggers.

I can really feel the warmth in my heart... no really, I can feel the grease in my heart. Awww.

Would a waffle bar be too much? 

I'm thinking yes. Only because my special guy's love language is Acts of Service. Which means, I'll be cleaning this shit up too. 

Which reminds me. In the upcoming days, I'll need to clean the house like a BOSS. I'll hate every minute of it and I'll need to keep my temper under control as to not to alert Andrew (I guess, I get sort of, you know, pissed when I clean. You know, sort of like a toddler.-_-). It'll mean a lot to him. He loves stuff like that.

3.   Scavenger hunt! I'm not sure if he would like this but I am going to incorporate my chores into it.

 

"Go check out the CLEAN fridge"

"What's not dusty with clothes all over the floor? Our Room!" 

Obviously, I'll need to get more creative when it comes to the clues. I know it sounds lame but the reward for each hint will expose the fact that I cleaned that area. He will love it. Yup. That's my Acts of Service man.

4.  This will be one of the surprises during the day. He usually gets lottery tickets every week and I knew I would have to make this for him. 

Replace tootsie rolls with Reese's Pieces and it's going to make him swoon.

5.  I'm gonna get my art on by copying this card idea. 

Except replace 752 with 1,292 days. Yeah, I figured it out. No. Not really. I went to a site that calculated it for me. 

6. Ummmmm... something outdoorsy? I have no idea what will happen after breakfast and the small gifts. 

I wish I could say we'll take a hike at Tallulah Gorge and at the end there's a picnic with all of his favorite foods which mostly consist of chicken quesadillas. But wait! After the picnic, a hot air balloon lands right beside us and it has "Happy 29th Birthday Andrew!" written on the side with twenty feet tall letters and we take a 45 min trip through the clouds to an old timey airport with one of those bi-planes and we hook him up safely to the wing as it flies around and it lands on a lake where there are jet skis waiting for our arrival and we go for a ski and dolphins are swimming next to us and Bill Burr high fives him as he does a flip through the air and lands on a yacht which has all of our friends, family, and Mars Volta singing Happy Birthday to him as they hand him an Oculus Rift on an electric drum set signed by Bill Hicks. But you know, I'm broke. 

Something like this would be great. But you know renting a fire breathing unicorn has got to be like $500 bucks. I might as well torch my own mushroom village. 

So what will I really do after breakfast? Well, the Tallulah Gorge picnic thing sounds nice but it's been 10° lately and I can't handle that shit. Being outside for 5 minutes makes my junk shrink. So will anything else outside. And going places, other than the great outdoors, costs money. It's a dilemma I didn't want to be in. 

Hmm. Perhaps, free date ideas will help. 

• Local art show
• Karaoke bar-Chaplin's
• Bike ride
• Take a hike
• GA Aquarium let you in for free on your birthday
• Do they have open farmers' market on Wednesday?
• Fly a kite
• Have a picnic 
• Head to the flea market
• Discover a new museum
• Go to a comedy club - Punchline perhaps?

Here are extra weird stuff:

All I know is I have to figure out a way to buy an Oculus Rift by Wednesday. Maybe his and my parents will go in on it with me. Ah!

I'm getting tired. Hopefully, I'll have it all figured out by Sunday because Monday is the FIRST DAY OF CLASS!!! WOOOO!!!

Blegh. I'm nervous. Oh, crap here comes Andrew!

2014 End and Portland Dreams

Oh, look at that time flying. It goes by quickly, doesn't it?

The end of last year wasn't as eventful or uplifting as I thought it might have originally been but it still wasn't too shabby.

I got two side jobs working with different photography studios. On the down side, I don't work as a photographer for them. I work in the office at one (I had a job identical to this five years ago and it was the worst) and at the other studio I work as a "photographer assistant". I, basically, do nothing but record jpeg #s and keep kids in line. If I'm lucky I get to be the photographer. They both aren't good studios.  Hopefully, they'll evolve to something better. My gut says no. Photographers are flakey.

Then again, maybe I should start lying about my past experience.

I haven't really practiced my photography very much lately. I have been told by different photographers that I am good and that I am bad. It's a mixed bag. Gotta take the good with the bad, I guess. I have been told that I shouldn't take their comments to be truth or too personally. It's been a learning experience. I tend to listen to other peoples opinions too much. It's been great practice to just ignore them, take as much advice as possible without identifying with it personally, and keep on trucking. Especially, since I'm still learning.

Couldn't have said it better myself. 

So, besides the part time sucky jobs, I finished all, and I mean ALL of my core classes at GPC. I could officially get a Associates in Film if I wanted to. I am still having issues signing up for classes with GSU and classes start in one week. We'll see what happens. I haven't had my heart in it lately. I love film but what am I actually going to be contributing to the field? Everyone is basically an assistant to the Director. I don't want to be assistant. That and I can only live in certain cities where the film industry is thriving. Andrew and I have been toying with the idea of moving away from Atlanta. It's a great town but we've never lived outside of Georgia. We were thinking our lifestyle aligns more with Portland's. That's right, the hipster capitol of the world! 

Multnomah Falls-OH,HELL YES! We would ride our bikes so hard there.

It would be lovely to live in that area of the country. Beautiful hikes...

Stone House in Green Forest Park Woods

Amazing architecture...

St. Johns Bridge

Cute little findings in the city...

I could be friends with people who do this.

I would not look forward to the colder brisk weather but how could you pass up those colorful cozy looking stores? Plus, it would mean sledding and skiing. 

NW 23rd Avenue

Oh, how nice that would be. Eventually, we might. We will just have to wait and see. As for now, it's back to the books. How many people get a free ride to go to college? That's right, I got a Pell Grant. I GET TO GO TO COLLEGE FOR FREE. There's no way I shouldn't go. 

Let's see how this week goes.

Btw, I noticed that last month I had visitors from around the globe reading my blog. It was such a surprise. I don't know what would bring people here but if you happen to be passing by, please, leave me a comment, it would make my day!

Carry On and Take Photos

When it's too good to be true, it probably is.

Well, as good as things were looking at the beginning of August, it all fell to pieces by the end of the month. It's been a terrible month. Complications arised with going to GSU this semester. Turned out I need the most basic film class in order to attend the more advanced courses. My financial aid still had not come through and there was less than a week before the first day of the semester. So, the cheapest option was to take one more mini-semester class at GPC. I can return to the excitement of GSU in the spring.

And the move? That has been post-poned as well. I am a very lucky person to have Andrew take care of me while I was in summer school but it seems I jumped the gun on that. Unfortunately, financial issues took a tole on us. I should have stuck with my old serving job. The choice was between staying at our current location with the freedom of purchasing items we wanted comfortably (eating out, taking my time looking for a photography job, purchasing lenses for my Nikon, going to see doctors, etc.) or struggling for a month or two at the new house and finding whatever mediocre job was available to me first hand to pay the bills. We would have been fine after a month but we stuck with the more comfortable option.



Now that I won't be attending college classes until October, my objective is to find a photography job. Check. It's not the greatest gig in the world but my close friend recommended me to her company. Starting this week I will be a Photographer's Assistant. I have plenty experience doing that. It's boring and dull. My hopes are that I will be able to stick my foot in the door at this company and, soon, they will hire me as a Photographer. In the mean time, I will take free photo shoots of friends to build my portfolio. Thanks to my mentor, Liz, I have learned a great deal in cameras and shooting in a short time. Now, I need to teach myself Lightroom and Photoshop (again!).

Writing it down, it doesn't seem so terrible. I learned that I take bad news and just blow it out of proportion. I have been wallowing in self-pity. It's ridiculous. I know. But it shed a light on something I have not been honest with. I am depressed. It has returned and in full force. The good thing about having extra cash now that we're not moving, is that I can find myself a good psychologist. I don't tend to trust doctors but I know I need to go back on Prozac. As I've told dear friends, I won't be on it forever. I am drowning right now and Prozac is a life jacket that helps me keep my head above water to see where land is. Just something to pick me up. Because right now, I feel like I'm hardly keeping it together. It doesn't help that my roommates and family think my lazy behavior is "just me". I know it's not. I remember when I was happy.



I know what I need to do to get back to Happy Kate. It's just easier said than done. Here's to getting back to land.

Making Up and Looking Out

Turns out all I needed to do was spend some quality time with the recent roomies. Honesty and humor go a long way in relationships.

I think we sometimes made up stuff instead of talking to one another like adults. They didn't know how to talk to us. The few times we were up front with them they became rude and abrasive. We were afraid they would take confrontation very poorly again (start yelling again) so we became passive aggressive over time. Let me tell you something. Passive aggressive behavior is contagious. That shit is the worst when it comes to roommates. But, overall, we all have improved our communication skills with one another. As much as possible concerning our personalities.

I saw this on Pinterest (my fav inspirational site).

I think it would be a good thing to make a cake for the roommates on our last day here. I bitch about them a lot but I'm sure I haven't been a peach this past year either. We all have issues. It seems now that Andrew and I are leaving the house, a veil has been lifted that grants all of us to be candid with one another. It's nice. I wish we could have been like this earlier.


Apart from that, I need to get rid of all my old Goodwill and Craigslist furniture in the house right now. I've posted them online for sale. Now I wait. I, also, need to get ready for the yard sale in a week. Money will go towards new adult furniture. New shiny wooded tables and soft cushiony seating that will only be used by Andrew and I and our guests. The money I receive from selling all the crappy furniture should be enough to buy one really nice piece. Things I need to look for for the new home:

Mid-century style coffee table and sofa.

Furniture with patterns and legs.

Lots of plants. A kilim rug.

Even more plants.

Bright colors and framed art work.

Hopefully, I won't kill all of these plants. Again.

How am I going to afford this? Bah!

It's late. Need to sleep. I have long fun day tomorrow. EEE!! Can't wait.

Good News Everyone!

1.

I was accepted into Georgia State University!!! I start classes on Aug. 25!

I can't believe I got in. I fucked up my GPA so bad when I first went to college that all straight A's for the past year has only raised it .3 points. It's pretty bad. BUT... I made the Dean's List two times and I believe that had a hand in my acceptance. It's close to the first day and next week's objective is figuring out which classes I need to sign up for and how to pay for them. My only choice might be to...

sign a student loan. Le sigh.

 Hopefully, I am eligible for a Pell Grant. I'll talk to my new PERSONAL (!) student counselor come Monday. I am so excited to attend classes that actually have to do with my major. Yay for being a Junior! There are too many things I have to get my head wrapped around for school. One step at a time. Hopefully, this time next week, everything will be taken care of.


2.

We're moving!!! Andrew and I, also, found a three bedroom home in Doraville with a huge fenced in back yard for the two of us to move into on Sept. 1!

It's super cute, and by cute, I mean small. A lot smaller than our five bedroom three story home. But that's something I will gladly give up, along with the roommates.

 The roommate that chopped up my dining room chair with a Katana sword. The roommate that stunk up the living room with his no-wear-socks loafers. The minorly autistic roommate that has no social boundaries and the roommate that violently spit on him. The roommate(s) that would rather spend their paycheck on beer and weed rather than their rent and bills. The roommate that yelled at me because:

 (a) she interpreted signing a lease as an attack on her character and her past. She is bipolar. Her snapping on me wasn't the only time she lost her temper. She slammed doors and screamed a lot at her boyfriend. It was a constant stress on the household, not only me.
(b) he thought he could butt his ugly face into my relationship with Andrew. He was manipulating things we told him and gossip about us. His temper tantrum lasted days. He was so disliked that we had to have an intervention for him about his manipulating people and treating us like his puppets. We weren't "smart" enough to catch on to him.
and
 (c) he was dealing with having roommates for the first time in his life and his passive aggressive tendencies were exposed after a fight with his girlfriend. He yelled about the house being dirty with dog hair and the dishes. At this point, I washed dishes often. Other people's dishes. He yelled at me for not doing that. I stopped cleaning the house after that. That was probably a year ago. Yeah, a whole year.

Something I should have invested in. YEARs ago.

Dr. Cooper had the right idea.

GOOOOOODDD BYYEE BITCHES! From now on, I'll love coming home.


3.

AND...drum roll, please! I quit smoking!!!

These three events are huge to me. I have been smoking for a decade. Today is the eleventh day of no cigs. It was a rough ride starting out but I made it past the gruesome and appalling mood swings and cravings. The above illustration is not far from the truth. I had to apologize to close friends for snappy comments. And Andrew. Poor, poor, lovable Andrew, he had to deal with my evil alternate personality, "Zulu", the most out of everybody. Since several years ago, he jokes that when I wake up in the mornings (before drinking my coffee or tea) and/or when I haven't had my menthol American Spirit in a couple of hours, I turn into Zulu. Zulu is a cunt.

My constant struggle.

It's getting easier with each day but I still have strong cravings. Strong enough to cripple me, so I have to keep trying.

I have the opportunity to understand and mend my aggressive emotions I ignored while smoking. They came out in combative blows the first week. I'm learning to decipher these feelings into positive outcomes rather than angry frustrating hissy fits. It's getting better.


So far, this is the best month. I am excited. I am scared. I am proud of myself. Last years hard work paid off. Time to keep it going.